Gwinnett Coaching 

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For Teens: How to Talk To Your Parents

 

  • Choose the right time. It’s not a good time when they walk in the door. They need time to unwind and relax before they’re able to communicate with you.
  • If you’re really not sure when a good time is, ask them!
  • Many times it’s a good time to break the routine. Ask them to leave the house, go for a soda, a walk or a drive.
  • Tell them it’s important that you talk about this. Sometimes parents don’t realize the importance of the problem.
  • Parents need to know you’re okay. Let them know so that they’re not distracted by the problem and make more of it than it really is. If you’re NOT okay, tell them and don’t worry about time and place. Your safety is most important.
  • Don’t play “mind games” with them. Be straight forward and honest.
  • In general, moms want peace and dads want to fix the problem. Let them know that you just need them to listen (or whatever it is that you need from them).
  • When discussing emotional issues, don’t use accusing words such as ‘should be’ or ‘have to’. Especially with dads, remember that their heart and their brains are not always on the same page.
  • Don’t talk for too long, especially for the first few times. Let them decide when their brain is full. While you might feel really good getting a few things off your chest, it might really exhaust your parents if you go on too long.
  • Give them time to think and speak. You might be surprising them with the information you’re giving them, or they might need time to think through what you’re asking. Give them some time.
  • Be open and honest. DO NOT communicate by using hints or broad terms such as “everything”, “nothing” or “something”. 
  • Don’t expect them to know how you feel. It’s been awhile since they were your age.
  • Know what you want or need. When you communicate this to your parents, use terms such as “I want…” or “I would like….”
  • Don’t assume what your parents think. Ask them. You might be surprised.
  • It is unlikely (and probably unhealthy) for one person to fulfill all of your emotional needs. Remember to create other balanced and positive relationships in your life with your siblings, extended family, friends, trusted adults along with your parents. 

Now, get out there and be AWESOME!!

 

 

 

 

 

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